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Report cards: every category, graded A–F
Our best-of lists show you the winners. Report cards show you everything — the whole category ranked on one transparent 6-dimension scale, the duds named, and the exact dimension that dragged each product down. Sometimes a whole aisle lands in the same band. Sometimes the household name loses to a brand you’ve never heard of. The receipts are below.
The Healthiest Cheese, Graded A to F. Not One Earned a B.
13 cheeses graded, top score a B-: lower-fat string cheeses and a humble Kraft Single came out least-bad, while Boursin landed at the bottom — dragged down by saturated fat and sodium every time.
B- Kraft Singles American Cheese Slices (Twin Pack) → C Boursin Garlic & Herb Cheese
See all 13 graded →The Healthiest Cereal, Graded A to F. Plain Oats Beat the Whole Aisle.
Plain oatmeal won the cereal aisle: McCann's Steel Cut took the top at A- (88), with Quaker Instant Oatmeal and grain-free Catalina Crunch tied behind at A- (85). Kellogg's Frosted Flakes came last at C- (59), below Froot Loops (C 60) and Cinnamon Toast Crunch (C 63).
A- Mccann'S Mccann'S, Quick & Easy Steel Cut Irish Oatmeal → C- Kellogg's Frosted Flakes Cereal
See all 27 graded →The Healthiest Protein Powder, Graded A to F. A Plant Powder Beat the Whey.
Vega One All-in-One took the top at A (94), with Ascent Native Fuel whey behind at A- (89). The bodybuilding-favorite Dymatize ISO100 sat mid-pack at B+ (80) and BSN Syntha-6 came last at B- (74), separated on ingredients and added sugar rather than protein.
A Vega One All-in-One Nutritional Shake, Vanilla Chai → B- BSN Syntha-6 Edge Protein Powder, Vanilla Milkshake
See all 7 graded →The Healthiest Greek Yogurt, Graded A to F. They’re All Actually Good.
Every Greek yogurt we graded landed between B and A- (78 to 85), the rare aisle where the marketing is basically true. The tiny gaps are added sugar and milkfat: Oikos Triple Zero Cherry took the top at A- (85), while the full-fat and fruit-blended tubs, Fage Total 5% among them, tie at the bottom on B (78), dinged on saturated fat and sugar rather than protein.
A- Dannon Oikos Triple Zero Blended Nonfat Greek Yogurt, Cherry → B Fage Total 2% Strawberry Greek Yogurt
See all 19 graded →5 Cottage Cheeses A–F. The Internet’s Favorite Came Last.
Cottage cheese grades well on protein, but the spread (75 to 83) is all sodium and milkfat. The plain no-salt-added Friendship tub won; the organic whole-milk Good Culture — the internet’s darling — came last, dinged on sodium and saturated fat, not protein.
B+ Friendship Dairies 1% Milkfat Small Curd No Salt Added Cottage Cheese → B Good Culture Organic Whole Milk Classic Cottage Cheese
See all 5 graded →The Healthiest Protein Bars, Graded A to F. From Real Food to Candy With Protein Dust.
It’s a three-way tie at the top: Aloha Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough, Barebells Caramel Cashew and Quest Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough all hit B+ (83). The Gatorade Recover Whey Protein Bar came last at C- (57), separated on added sugar and ingredients rather than protein.
B+ Aloha Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Plant-Based Protein Bar → C- Gatorade Recover Whey Protein Bar Chocolate Chip 2.8 Ounce Plastic Bag
See all 25 graded →The Healthiest Protein Shakes, Graded A to F. Nearly the Whole Aisle Landed in the B Range.
The plant-based OWYN Pro Elite Chocolate took the top at B+ (83), ahead of Iconic Vanilla Bean at B+ (82) and Fairlife Core Power Elite at B+ (81). Boost High Protein Chocolate came last at C+ (69), the only shake outside the B range, separated on added sugar rather than protein.
B+ OWYN Pro Elite Chocolate Shake → C+ Boost High Protein Chocolate Sensation Nutritional Drink
See all 11 graded →The Healthiest Peanut Butter, Graded A to F. The Simplest Label Won.
The simplest jar won: Crazy Richard’s Creamy Natural Peanut Butter, literally just peanuts, took the top at A- (86), while Skippy Creamy, which adds sugar and palm oil, came last at B- (72), dinged on ingredients and added sugar, not protein.
A- Crazy Richard's Creamy Natural Peanut Butter → B- Skippy Creamy Peanut Butter
See all 7 graded →The Healthiest Nuts, Graded A to F. One of the Best Snacks You Can Grab.
Nuts are one of the best grab-and-go snacks there is, and the spread (72 to 85) is almost all about salt: no-salt in-shell Wonderful Pistachios won at A- (85), while the salted Planters Deluxe Whole Cashews came last at B- (72), dinged on sodium rather than the fat.
A- Wonderful Pistachios (No Salt / In-Shell) → B- Planters Deluxe Whole Cashews
See all 6 graded →Every Canned Bean A–F. Plain Beans Swept the Top.
Plain beans run the table: Goya Black Beans took the top at A- (85), while the brown-sugar-candied Bush’s Best Original Baked Beans came last at C+ (66), dinged on added sugar rather than protein.
A- Goya Black Beans → C+ Bush's Best Original Baked Beans
See all 7 graded →The Healthiest Bread, Graded A to F. Whole Grain vs Refined Was the Whole Story.
Whole grain wins: Dave’s Killer Bread Powerseed Organic led at B+ (82), tied with its own Thin-Sliced version, while Wonder Classic White Enriched Bread came last at B- (72), separated on fiber and ingredients and not much else.
B+ Dave's Killer Bread Powerseed Thin-Sliced Organic Bread → B- Wonder Classic White Enriched Bread
See all 7 graded →The Healthiest Canned Tuna and Fish, Graded A to F. The Whole Aisle Scored B- or Better.
Every canned fish we graded landed B- or better. Safe Catch Elite Wild Tuna and Wild Planet No Salt Added Wild Sardines in Water tied for the top at B+ (83); the Brunswick Sardines in Tomato & Basil Sauce trailed at B- (72), separated only by added salt and sauce, not the fish.
B+ Safe Catch Elite Wild Tuna → B- Brunswick Sardines in Tomato & Basil Sauce
See all 15 graded →Every Canned Vegetable A–F. A Cheap, Smart Way to Hit Your Veg.
Corn and tomatoes lead: Green Giant Whole Kernel Sweet Corn and Hunt’s Diced Tomatoes tied for the top at B (78), while Del Monte Fresh Cut Cream Style Sweet Corn came last at B- (71), dinged on added sugar rather than the vegetable.
B Green Giant Whole Kernel Sweet Corn → B- Del Monte Fresh Cut Cream Style Sweet Corn
See all 5 graded →The Healthiest Chips, Graded A to F. One Outsider Embarrassed the Aisle.
Quest Protein Chips Sea Salt towered over the aisle at B+ (80), a full eight points clear of anything else. Snyder’s of Hanover Jalapeño Pretzel Pieces anchored the bottom at D (54), with Doritos Nacho Cheese not far above at C (64), sunk by sodium and additives rather than flavor.
B+ Quest Protein Chips Sea Salt → D Snyder's of Hanover Jalapeño Pretzel Pieces
See all 9 graded →Every Cracker A–F. The “Wheat” Health Halo Did Not Survive.
Whole-grain Triscuit Original took the top at B- (74); refined-flour Keebler Club Original landed last at C (60), separated by grain quality and fiber rather than taste.
B- Triscuit Original Crackers → C Keebler Club Original Crackers
See all 7 graded →The Healthiest Frozen Pizza, Graded A to F. It’s a Sodium Delivery Vehicle.
Amy’s Cheese Pizza Bites, the lightest option in the case, took the top at B- (72); Totino’s Pepperoni Party Pizza anchored the bottom at C (60), sunk by sodium and saturated fat rather than the crust.
B- Amy's Cheese Pizza Bites → C Totino's Pepperoni Party Pizza
See all 6 graded →Every Deli Meat A–F. The Whole Aisle Caps at C+.
Hillshire Farm Ultra Thin Oven Roasted Turkey Breast topped a capped field at B- (70); Oscar Mayer Bologna, more fat than protein, was the floor at C- (58).
B- Hillshire Farm Ultra Thin Oven Roasted Turkey Breast → C- Oscar Mayer Bologna
See all 7 graded →Every Canned Soup A–F. Sodium Decides the Whole Aisle.
Top of the can: Amy’s Organic Broccoli Cheddar at B- (73); rock bottom is Campbell’s Condensed Chicken Noodle at C+ (65), separated on sodium and fiber and not much else.
B- Amy's Organic Broccoli Cheddar Soup → C+ Campbell's Condensed Chicken Noodle Soup
See all 6 graded →Every Pasta Sauce A–F. Even Cult-Favorite Rao’s Only Tied.
It’s a two-way tie at the top: Classico Tomato & Basil and Newman’s Own Organics Marinara, both B- (73), nosing out cult-favorite Rao’s at B- (72). Bertolli Tomato & Basil came last at C+ (67), separated on added sugar and sodium.
B- Classico Tomato & Basil Pasta Sauce → C+ Bertolli Tomato & Basil Sauce
See all 6 graded →Every Frozen Meal A–F. The “Lean” Lunches Beat the Comfort Food.
Top tray: Amy’s Black Bean Vegetable Enchilada at B (77); the floor is Banquet Classic Salisbury Steak Meal at C (63), separated on fat, sodium and fiber rather than portion size alone.
B Amy's Black Bean Vegetable Enchilada → C Banquet Classic Salisbury Steak Meal
See all 10 graded →Every Tortilla A–F. Corn Beats Flour, Cleanly.
Corn runs away with it: Guerrero White Corn Tortillas at B+ (81); refined Mission Flour Tortillas came last at C (63), separated on fiber, ingredients and sodium rather than calories.
B+ Guerrero White Corn Tortillas → C Mission Flour Tortillas
See all 5 graded →Every Canned Fruit A–F. The Packing Liquid Is the Whole Story.
Packing liquid is the whole game: Del Monte Sliced Pears in lite syrup top the list at B- (72), while Del Monte Sliced Peaches in Heavy Syrup land last at C+ (66). Same fruit, dragged down by the added sugar in the can rather than the peach.
B- Del Monte Del Monte, Sliced Pears, Lite, Lite → C+ Del Monte Foods Inc. Del Monte, Sliced Peaches In Heavy Syrup
See all 5 graded →Every Beef Jerky & Meat Snack A–F. A Solid Protein Snack — Just Mind the Salt.
Jerky grades well on protein, and the spread (63 to 74) is almost all sodium and added sugar: Stryve Original Beef Biltong tops it at B- (74), while Tillamook Old Fashioned Beef Jerky lands last at C (63), separated on salt and glaze rather than protein.
B- Stryve Original Beef Biltong, Original → C Tillamook Old Fashioned Beef Jerky, Old Fashioned
See all 7 graded →Every Milk & Milk Alternative A–F. Added Sugar Drew the Only Real Line.
Added sugar is the whole story: ultra-filtered Fairlife leads on protein density, the unsweetened plant milks (Silk, Califia, Ripple, Oatly) grade right alongside the dairy, and the lone faller is Blue Diamond Almond Breeze Chocolate at C+ — dragged down by added sugar, not the almond.
B+ Fairlife Ultra-Filtered Milk → C+ Blue Diamond Almond Breeze Chocolate Almondmilk
See all 9 graded →Grades are absolute (relative to all packaged foods), from each product’s own label, verified against USDA data. See the methodology, or filter every product by the dimension you care about.