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Report cards: every category, graded A–F
Our best-of lists show you the winners. Report cards show you everything — the whole category ranked on one transparent 6-dimension scale, the duds named, and the exact dimension that dragged each product down. Sometimes a whole aisle lands in the same band. Sometimes the household name loses to a brand you’ve never heard of. The receipts are below.
13 Popular Cheeses A–F. Not One Earned a B.
13 cheeses graded, top score a B-: lower-fat string cheeses and a humble Kraft Single came out least-bad, while Boursin landed at the bottom — dragged down by saturated fat and sodium every time.
B- Frigo Frigo, Cheese Heads, Light String Mozzarella Cheese → C- Boursin Garlic & Herb Cheese
See all 13 graded →Every Cereal A–F. The Household Names Lost.
Top grades went to grain-free upstarts (Three Wishes, Catalina Crunch at A-); Cheerios + Ancient Grains and Cheerios Protein landed at B- — out-scored on added sugar and fiber by cereals half their size.
A- Mccann'S Mccann'S, Quick & Easy Steel Cut Irish Oatmeal → C Kellogg's Frosted Flakes Cereal
See all 19 graded →7 Protein Powders A–F. A Plant Powder Beat the Whey.
A plant-based powder (Vega One) topped the list and Ascent whey followed; the bodybuilding-favorite ISO100 sat mid-pack and BSN Syntha-6 came last — separated on ingredients and added sugar, not protein.
A Vega One All-in-One Nutritional Shake, Vanilla Chai → B- BSN Syntha-6 Edge Protein Powder, Vanilla Milkshake
See all 7 graded →Every Greek Yogurt We Could Find. They’re All Actually Good.
Every Greek yogurt we graded landed B or B+ (77–84) — the rare aisle where the marketing is basically true. The tiny gaps are added sugar and milkfat: plain and 'zero sugar' tubs edge the fruit-flavored ones, and full-fat Fage Total 5% sits lowest, dinged only on saturated fat — not protein.
B+ Dannon Oikos Triple Zero Blended Nonfat Greek Yogurt, Cherry → B Fage Total 5% Greek Strained Yogurt
See all 19 graded →5 Cottage Cheeses A–F. The Internet’s Favorite Came Last.
Cottage cheese grades well on protein, but the spread (74–82) is all sodium and milkfat. The plain no-salt-added Friendship tub won; the organic whole-milk Good Culture — the internet’s darling — came last, dinged on sodium and saturated fat, not protein.
B+ Friendship Dairies 1% Milkfat Small Curd No Salt Added Cottage Cheese → B- Good Culture Organic Whole Milk Classic Cottage Cheese
See all 5 graded →Every Protein & Snack Bar A–F. From Real-Food Bars to Candy With Protein Dust.
23 bars graded, and it’s a three-way tie at the top: Aloha Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough, Barebells Caramel Cashew and Quest Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough all hit B+ (83); the Clif Kit’s Organic Dark Chocolate Almond Coconut came last at C+ (68) — separated on added sugar and ingredients, not protein.
B+ Aloha Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Plant-Based Protein Bar → C+ Clif Bar Clif Kit's Organic Dark Chocolate Almond Coconut Fruit + Nut Bar
See all 23 graded →Every Ready-to-Drink Protein Shake A–F. Every Single One Landed in the B Range.
Every shake we graded landed B-range — the plant-based OWYN Pro Elite Chocolate took the top at B+ (82), ahead of Iconic Vanilla and Fairlife Core Power Elite; even last-place Boost High Protein Chocolate held a respectable B- (70), separated on added sugar, not protein.
B+ OWYN Pro Elite Chocolate Shake → B- Boost High Protein Chocolate Sensation Nutritional Drink
See all 10 graded →Every Nut & Seed Butter A–F. The Simplest Label Won.
The simplest jar won: Crazy Richard’s Creamy Natural Peanut Butter — literally just peanuts — took the top at A- (86), while Skippy Creamy, which adds sugar and palm oil, came last at B- (73), dinged on ingredients and added sugar, not protein.
A- Crazy Richard's Creamy Natural Peanut Butter → B- Skippy Creamy Peanut Butter
See all 7 graded →Every Nut & Seed A–F. One of the Best Snacks You Can Grab.
Nuts are one of the best grab-and-go snacks there is, and the spread (71–85) is almost all about salt: no-salt in-shell Wonderful Pistachios won at A- (85), while the salted Planters Deluxe Whole Cashews came last at B- (71) — dinged on sodium, not the fat.
A- Wonderful Pistachios (No Salt / In-Shell) → B- Planters Deluxe Whole Cashews
See all 6 graded →Every Canned Bean A–F. Plain Beans Swept the Top.
Plain beans run the table — Goya Black Beans took the top at B+ (84), while the brown-sugar-candied Bush’s Best Original Baked Beans came last at C+ (67), dinged on added sugar, not protein.
B+ Goya Black Beans → C+ Bush's Best Original Baked Beans
See all 7 graded →Every Bread A–F. Whole Grain vs. Refined Was the Whole Story.
Whole grain wins: Dave’s Killer Bread Powerseed Organic led at B+ (81), while Wonder Classic White Enriched Bread came last at B- (72) — separated on fiber and ingredients, not much else.
B+ Dave's Killer Bread Powerseed Organic Bread → B- Wonder Classic White Enriched Bread
See all 7 graded →Every Canned Fish A–F. Every Single One Earned a B or Better.
Every canned fish we graded landed B or better. Wild Planet No Salt Added Wild Sardines in Water led at B+ (83); the Brunswick Sardines in Tomato & Basil Sauce trailed at B- (72) — separated only by added salt and sauce, not the fish.
B+ Wild Planet No Salt Added Wild Sardines in Water → B- Brunswick Sardines in Tomato & Basil Sauce
See all 15 graded →Every Canned Vegetable A–F. A Cheap, Smart Way to Hit Your Veg.
Peas and corn lead — Del Monte Fresh Cut Sweet Peas and Green Giant Whole Kernel Sweet Corn tied for the top at B (77), while Del Monte Fresh Cut Cream Style Sweet Corn came last at B- (70), dinged on added sugar, not the vegetable.
B Del Monte Fresh Cut Sweet Peas → B- Del Monte Fresh Cut Cream Style Sweet Corn
See all 5 graded →Every Chip A–F. One Outsider Embarrassed the Whole Aisle.
Quest Protein Chips Sea Salt towered over the aisle at a B+ (80); cheese-dusted Doritos Nacho Cheese landed dead last at C (63), sunk by sodium and additives — not flavor.
B+ Quest Protein Chips Sea Salt → C Doritos Nacho Cheese Tortilla Chips
See all 7 graded →Every Cracker A–F. The “Wheat” Health Halo Did Not Survive.
Whole-grain Triscuit Original took the top at B- (73); refined-flour Keebler Club Original landed last at C (61) — separated by grain quality and fiber, not taste.
B- Triscuit Original Crackers → C Keebler Club Original Crackers
See all 7 graded →Every Frozen Pizza A–F. It’s a Sodium Delivery Vehicle.
Amy’s Cheese Pizza, the lightest pie in the case, took the top at B- (71); Totino’s Pepperoni Party Pizza anchored the bottom at C- (59), sunk by sodium and saturated fat — not the crust.
B- Amy's Cheese Pizza Bites → C- Totino's Pepperoni Party Pizza
See all 6 graded →Every Deli Meat A–F. The Whole Aisle Caps at C+.
Hillshire Farm Ultra Thin Oven Roasted Turkey Breast topped a capped field at C+ (69); Oscar Mayer Bologna — more fat than protein — was the floor at C- (57).
C+ Hillshire Farm Ultra Thin Oven Roasted Turkey Breast → C- Oscar Mayer Bologna
See all 5 graded →Every Canned Soup A–F. Sodium Decides the Whole Aisle.
Top of the can: Amy’s Organic Broccoli Cheddar at B- (72); rock bottom is Campbell’s Condensed Chicken Noodle at C (64) — separated on sodium and fiber, not much else.
B- Amy's Organic Broccoli Cheddar Soup → C Campbell's Condensed Chicken Noodle Soup
See all 6 graded →Every Pasta Sauce A–F. Even Cult-Favorite Rao’s Only Tied.
It’s a two-way tie at the top — Classico Tomato & Basil and Newman’s Own Organics Marinara, both B- (72) — nosing out cult-favorite Rao’s (71); Bertolli Tomato & Basil came last at C+ (67), separated on added sugar and sodium.
B- Classico Tomato & Basil Pasta Sauce → C+ Bertolli Tomato & Basil Sauce
See all 6 graded →Every Frozen Meal A–F. The “Lean” Lunches Beat the Comfort Food.
Top tray: Amy’s Black Bean Vegetable Enchilada at B (76); the floor is Banquet Classic Salisbury Steak Meal at C (63) — separated on fat, sodium, and fiber, not portion size alone.
B Amy's Black Bean Vegetable Enchilada → C Banquet Classic Salisbury Steak Meal
See all 10 graded →Every Tortilla A–F. Corn Beats Flour, Cleanly.
Corn runs away with it: Guerrero White Corn Tortillas at B+ (80); refined Mission Flour Tortillas came last at C (62) — separated on fiber, ingredients, and sodium, not calories.
B+ Guerrero White Corn Tortillas → C Mission Flour Tortillas
See all 5 graded →Every Canned Fruit A–F. The Packing Liquid Is the Whole Story.
Packing liquid is the whole game: Del Monte Sliced Pears in lite syrup top the list at B- (73), while Del Monte Sliced Peaches in Heavy Syrup land last at C+ (67) — same fruit, dragged down by the added sugar in the can, not the peach.
B- Del Monte Del Monte, Sliced Pears, Lite, Lite → C+ Del Monte Foods Inc. Del Monte, Sliced Peaches In Heavy Syrup
See all 5 graded →Every Beef Jerky & Meat Snack A–F. A Solid Protein Snack — Just Mind the Salt.
Jerky grades well on protein, and the spread (66–73) is almost all sodium and added sugar: Stryve Original Beef Biltong tops it at B- (73), while the Field Trip Original Meat Stick lands last at C+ (66) — separated on salt and glaze, not protein.
B- Stryve Original Beef Biltong, Original → C+ Field Trip Original Meat Stick
See all 7 graded →Grades are absolute (relative to all packaged foods), from each product’s own label, verified against USDA data. See the methodology, or filter every product by the dimension you care about.